Years rolled by. For far too long as I can remember I just accepted that unhappiness was the norm. That taking each step, breathing in each breathe became harder and harder each day. Being a teenager is hard for everyone, everyone has their own battles. For some though battle commences on many fronts and can become all consuming.
I fought war on many fronts; at school, home, with friends and family. The hardest one of them all, was the war raging inside me. The battle consisted of two side, on one side; my thoughts, ideas, dreams, goals and ambitions versus the evil side of worry, stress, anxiety and fear that make up depression. The fierce battle raged from when the sun rose to when it was extinguished by the black curtain.
Emotional torment ripped through my thoughts daily, it was only broken by occasional glimmer of hope from a kind word, a small pause of laughter or a hint of acceptance into my peer group. These small isolated pockets of happiness where quickly erased by the overbearing thoughts that screamed out; you are not good enough, be careful of what you say and what will they think off you! Sadly though the latter consumed and errored all happiness, making even the smallest happy moments feel unbearable and painful.
Over the years the darkness of depression won and kept on winning.